November 24, 2009

this my love song

I’m not good with poetry, and I know many who are so much better than I am. Thus, this poem, which came on a whim while I was understanding psychology last week in Sydney, isn’t too flash. I tried to expand it, but it was a half-hearted and died without a shout. But, I hope you get the sense of what it attempted to convey.
____

And you always thought you knew a lot
At 20, having weathered many a storm and sand
You roar’d, ‘the premise is flawed’ You quoted Rand
And while you heroically looked skyward
Your countenance betrayed you were socially awkward

And you always thought you knew a lot
You had dabbled enough in philosophies
Your wisdom reflected off your shining trophies
Spoke you wisely of this ism and that
But were nicked of your purse by the sly street cat

And you always thought you knew a lot
You smoked the green peace, spoke of revolution
And defiance and hypocrisy and, maybe Red retribution
Flushed were your veins, you puked in the pot
You looked around and found an equally fucked up lot

November 23, 2009

whence?

Whence cometh deliverance...

  • From peeling skin ‘round the nail cuticles...
  • From email IDs the likes of which are 2cool2hot4u@yahoo.com, sweet16kanika@in.com, hothimesh2002@rediff.com...
  • From tongues bitten – by self or another...
  • From random friend requests that beseech a ‘doing friendship’ quite against your interest...
  • From bulbous boils on the buttocks...
  • From mosquitoes...
  • From that bloated stomach feeling upon the eating of one too many foods that deserve to be eaten one too many...
  • From little toes stubbed on angular furniture...
  • From finite time spent shopping that lecherously draws on Einstein’s relativity to seem infinite...
  • From facebook apps that chew the brain, and clog the homepage...
  • From nilwits...
  • From slimy, wallowing-in-self-pity, emo public status updates that no one really wants to read...
  • From occasional, unexplained suspensions of free will...
  • From love...
  • From hatred...

Whence?

P.S.: Happy birthday, Rangan.

November 18, 2009

as easy as falling off a horse!

Children should know about sex. How to give ‘the talk’ has always been a bit of an ordeal for folks. I come from a generation where fathers and sons never watched ‘anything English’ together on TV. And if they did, they were ‘progressive’; and even so at as much as a hint of anything bordering intimacy, the father would change to a news channel (which he always kept on the ‘Quick View’ button on the remote) and routinely jump back to the movie to see if the ‘vulgarity’ had passed. When it did, the father and the son continued watching in a pregnant silence. Like that just didn’t happen.

Television after 10 p.m. was just wrong – it invited glares and stern voices from parents. Because FTV’s Midnight Hot, which didn’t always come on at midnight, was the ultimate thrill for pre-teens or early teens. In particularly shady neighbourhoods, and some good ones too, the local cable guy would put on a raunchy sleaze load at 2 a.m. – where the most that could happen is the Indian equivalent of an up-skirt and sloppy, ham-handed kisses. No, calling them kisses might be an insult to the art that it is – I don’t know what they were: assaults, maybe? Teens soon grew bored; Mast Ram and Desibaba became all the rage. They graduated through erotica, soft-porn, comic strips, magazines, stories, hardcore, etc etc. To each his own path. Anyway, that is how the guys I know got their sexual education. Because, frankly, even the textbooks (which we lustily opened when we first got them in Class IX; biology, Chapter 23: Human Reproduction) were drearily disappointing...

But, the times were changing surely. At boarding school we had this kickass sex ed session (of course, the girls and the guys were addressed separately) where we could ask anything we pleased as a part of an initiative of the Andhra Pradesh Government! And if we were too shy, we could drop in our anonymous questions in a box kept on the table. To use French, it was graphic, and knowing how horny hormonal teens can get, plus in keeping with codes of public decency, let me not get started on the kinds of questions asked. To say the least, it covered everything.

Everything.

Enter The KNTV Show, a UK based ‘edutainment’ programme which won the Scottish Bafta Award recently. Here’s a sampler:


Wikipedia says:
The show is presented by two animated fictional teenagers from Eastern Europe (specifically the fictional state of “Slabovia”, the “last remaining communist state in Europe”), called Kierky and Nietschze, named after Søren Kierkegaard and Friedrich Nietzsche. The show melds comedy and education into one as form of edutainment.
More on that show, here.

Meanwhile, the government in one of Spain’s regions is spending €14,000 on a campaign that essentially tells kids to jerk off. The leaflet is smartly titled: Pleasure is in your hands. One angry bloke said, ‘Are youngsters today so thick that they have to use a leaflet to learn how to crack one off? We used to teach ourselves, and it didn't cost the government a penny.’

Well, sex education has come a long way since I left school. I feel old.

November 17, 2009

water balls, anyone?

My city makes me smile – Nagpur’s Haldiram’s: taking translation to newer highs!

(click on the pictures for a larger view)


=)

November 16, 2009

good or evil?

I know the continuation to the previous post has been long overdue. You see, I have just returned from a beautiful Sydney trip (more on that later, or maybe I should just stop making these promises!); and I have two exams in the next three days and that makes things a little... difficult.

The real fun blogposts about Straddie and Sydney will be up after the 20th of this month, I promise!

Till then, here’s something to ruminate on. Penguin is now going to advertise its books in 3D at select malls and airports. You needn’t wear plastic goggles to see the ads, it’s apparently a new technology that presents 3D images on plasma screen TVs.

Incidentally, if you are going to be at any of the places where the ads are first to be seen (listed below), drop me a word about how it works, eh? Here’s the full press release:
____

Penguin – Now in 3D!

For the first time in India, Penguin launches 3D advertising of its books.

Now catch promos of the latest Penguin books in stunning 3D while you take a break from shopping at your favourite mall or while you wait to board your flight at the airport.

The next time you look up at the TV screens advertising various products and services in a mall or at an airport, you may be in for a surprise. Coming out of the screen towards you will be super sleuth Feluda and his trusted companion Topshe, in hot pursuit of a criminal, in images taken from Penguin’s just-published Feluda comics. Or Hanuman and the vanara army will be trawling through Kishkindhya and Lanka in search of Sita, in brilliant technicolour, in images taken from the children’s activity book Where’s Hanuman? These along with advertisements for Penguin’s latest releases and bestsellers will be jumping out at you from plasma screens—in breathtaking 3D!

As part of a novel marketing initiative, Penguin India has begun advertising its books in 3D on high-definition plasma screens at select locations in major metros. This is a publishing industry first—Penguin is the first publisher in the country to utilize recent advances in digital technology to showcase its products to the public in a more spectacular way than ever before.

Forget dodgy plastic spectacles and dark theatres that one associates with 3D movies. The brand new technology of lenticular screens converts two-dimensional images and graphics into 3D to give the viewer a real-life experience of images floating in front of, rather than in, the screen. The 3D images appear on 42” high definition plasma screens.

Locations in four major metros (IGI Airport, Delhi; Rajiv Gandhi International Airport, Hyderabad; Select City Walk Mall, Saket, New Delhi; and Forum Mall, Bangalore) have begun to telecast adverts for some of the biggest Penguin and Puffin books of the season, along with a Penguin branding advert. Each advert is 15 seconds long and repeats at regular intervals.

There are four plasma screens showing the adverts at each location, and the promo will run initially for a period of two months at the airports and for a month at the malls.

Penguin’s latest advertising initiative takes prospective customers straight into the digital future—where no publisher has gone before!
____

It struck to me as odd when I first came to Australia that books are advertised – on the back of buses, trains, many places. And now this... I’m not sure how to think about this. Is it any good? Will a reader who takes so much luring to buy a book really read. If yes, how good a reader would he develop into? Is this like dragging the fine pleasure of reading into the lusty bar brawl of ‘consumption’?

Or maybe, will it do some good?

November 10, 2009

the fortnight that was (pratham khand)

A lot has been happening folks, yes a lot. Do you know what a lot means? A lot means a lot. So much so, that I haven’t had the time to breathe. Or cut my hair. Now that I’m done with most that needs doing, I am writing this sitting at the Brisbane domestic airport waiting to fly to Sydney. I’ve got about 40 minutes or so.

So, anyway here’s a shabby, lazy rundown of the week that was. Hmmm.... so, over a fortnight ago I donated blood to the Australian Red Cross. The mobi-van had come to campus and I was the first donor of the day – not that it means anything. Since I turned 18, I’ve made it a point to donate blood thrice each year. I turn 20 next month. So, that was my sixth donation and the nurse in the van didn’t know. I played along because it feels good being flattered once in a while. Going in the general Australian tradition, she was the sweetest person, her profession only adding to her niceness. She checked every now and then if I was all right and if I needed anything. Trust me folks, apart from the immense satisfaction one gets after giving blood, a good nurse makes all the difference. On that note, please donate, y’all.

That was in October: a nerve racking month of assignments and more assignments. I handed one in the morning of some date I don’t remember, worked through the day on another Film and Television Studies assignment, and went back to University to hand it in. Murphy farted and I reached too late, the office had closed. I had a train to catch the next day at 9 a.m., I was to be off to Stradbroke Island.

This is where narrating this tale gets tricky. I woke up next day early at 6 a.m., caught the bus to University. Once there, I realised I had forgotten to return the rented DVD of the movie on which I did my screen aesthetic analysis for the Film and Television Studies assignment I was about to submit. It had been accumulating a menacing rental of about $2 a day for six days now, and I was about to leave for Stradbroke for the next four days. Murphy’s flatulence was still wafting through the air around me.

News about a giant shark off the coast of Stradbroke had been doing the rounds, and all the lovely people who care for me had used their persuasions to ensure I keep out of the water. Knowing me, I love swimming in the ocean, and I love to share that love (I taught a few folks back in Manipal how to manoeuvre the waves of the Arabian Sea off the Western Konkan coast. They didn’t even know how to swim). A train ride to Cleveland, a bus to the water taxi, the ferry to the Dunwich on the western side of Stradbroke and another bus across the Island to its north eastern tip, Pt. Lookout meant we were here!

Click on any of the pictures for a larger view


Why Stradbroke? Jo had told me, much earlier in the semester, of a reggae festival there called Island Vibe. The tickets to it were quite the obstacle at $160 for the three-day fest. Thus, upon Jo’s suggestion, we volunteered. I became the assistant stage manager with ‘experience in handing the backline, fallback, feedback, SM57/58s and other stage jazz’ (not exact words). I didn’t know then what all that meant; I was just aping Jo (who incidentally plays four and a half musical instruments). Thus, the day was saved, as were the $160.





Once at Stradbroke, we pitched our tents – yes, we lived in tents pitched about 150 or so yards from the beach. Lunch was crudely barbequed kangaroo stakes. By crudely, I mean without oil or seasoning or salt/pepper. Just the frozen slabs of the meat onto the public BBQ, turned over using a knife and stuffed into wholegrain bread – a Roo-dimentary meal. Kangaroo meat tastes... and I’m not most confident writing this – nice, maybe? Way healthier than red meat, surely. I just had to have it: I mean, where else can you be in a country and eat its National Animal?




The three days of Island Vibe were a breeze. We had easy shifts and I just shuffled around the place and showed up at the stage I was assigned whenever the bands changed. And now I know what backline, feedback, fallback and SMs are! As well as slangs like ‘China’, ‘Snare’, ‘Barry’ (may be spelt as ‘Bari’), ‘Skank’ (no, not the slut), ‘Walking Baseline’ (is that a slang?) Whatever, you get the hang of it.

I know all this is going to be posted only after I reach Sydney tonight and it makes no difference where I write it, but, just for the baseless thrill of thinking that I’m live-blogging I must say, that’s my boarding call. I’ll maybe continue this in the flight or, if the seats are Nazi torture chairs (quite possible, my ticket costs $79) I’ll finish it once I land.

I’m in Sydney, so here’s the account so far.
____

To be continued...

P.S.: Happy Birthday, Kuku!